I wrote this story, could somebody grade it?

Wow. That's really touching. I mean, if only he had taken the minute or so to notice, instead of convincing himself he got screwed right off the bat, he'd still had a relationship with his father. Personally, I wouldn't have been angry to the point of never talking to my parents again, but I'm not the character. Despite some of the over-the-top similes in the beginning, it's really good. This is top end stuff you have here. Keep up the good work. I'll give it a 5.